Archive for the ‘schemes’ Category

They Make Desks Just For Black Kids

April 29, 2008

This is just more proof of the institution of racism that has been allowed to propagate under big business. I know I’ll never be shopping at Target again…unless of course they have something I need for a low price.

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You Mean I Can Watch Cool Hand Luke And The Lion King Right Now For Free?

August 1, 2007

So, today, my day is being spent watching Cool Hand Luke and The Lion King (almost in their entirety)…thanks to YouTube. Apparently, the user who uploaded the films split the movies into different “clips” about 9 minutes or so in length, they then uploaded all relevant parts of the movie. So, if the average movie is 90 minutes in length, that means that there are only going to need to be 10 clips uploaded. This is awesome.

I know this is how things should be (even used to be) on YouTube, but after the whole Viacom lawsuit, I guess things went a bit south. Oh well, it’s nice to see people still fightin’ the powers that be. Enjoy.

Cool Hand Luke

Part 1 – You Call The Capt’n Capt’n
Part 2 – Lucille’s Car Wash
Part 3 – Dragline Boxout
Part 4 – Road Paving Race
Part 5 – Egg Eatin’ 1
Part 6 – Egg Eatin’ 2/Backsass
Part 7 – On The Run
Part 8 – On The Run Again
Part 9 – Captured Again
Part 10 – Get Your Mind Right
Part 11 – Last Hurrah
Part 12 – Failure To Communicate

The Lion King

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

How To Commit The Perfect Murder

July 24, 2007

You hear me? You’re going to be *$&#ing dead! Yeah, you know who you are.

Just Who Is The World’s Smartest Man?

July 16, 2007

Now, I know that when you, my beloved reader thinks of the phrase “world’s smartest man“, you obviously think of me (yeah, right), but I have found someone far more deserving to hold the title of “world’s smartest man“…although the answer may surprise you.

When I speak of the world’s smartest man, what comes to mind? Names such as Einstein, Hawking, or Aristotle? Bah, I say. Fools, I say. Dullards, I say. While these men are (or were in the cases of Einstein and Aristotle) indeed brilliant, they fall quite far from the highest branches of the world’s smartest man tree.

Einstein, what can I say about this brilliant man that would convince you that he was not the world’s smartest man? Look at his hair! It’s not aerodynamic! How can he expect to break the speed of sound on a moped without aerodynamic hair!?

Hawking, a very intelligent man indeed, but the world’s smartest man? Surely not. He himself admits that he is not the world’s smartest man. He is, of course, an intelligent man to know his own limits, but his lack of a unified field theory does indeed show the source of his apprehension to lay claim to title of the world’s smartest man.

Aristotle, a genius that wrote on many different subjects including logic, physics, government, politics, biology, zoology and many many more. Simply put, one of the most influential philosophers of all time. A legend in his own time as well as ours. yet still not the world’s smartest man. I mean, really, if he’s so smart how come he’s been dead for over 2000 years?

While these three men have surely influenced history and shaped the ways that we look at and understand ourselves and the universe around us, none of them is able to hold the title of world’s smartest man. These men of science approached the claim from a…well…man of science way. They merely contributed to the knowledge of the world. None of them could be so bold as to attempt to brute force reality itself in a mad quest to become the world’s smartest man. This man, no, this god among men that I speak of, this titan that holds the universe in his tightly clenched fist is… (more…)

My Big Idea Involves Hotdogs And Sharks

July 9, 2007

Alright, I had this idea today when I was supposed to be working. When I am supposed to be working is when I get my best ideas. So, I start calling around asking for money, seeing if I can borrow money from people for my big idea. Unfortunately, when I asked people to loan me a few thousand dollars, they started asking why exactly I needed that much money.

Well, my idea is too grand to be explained to people. What I am proposing, could possibly bring resolution to the single greatest scientific question that has plagued mankind since the stone age…here, don’t let me ruin it with mere words, let me show you a drawing that captures some of the magnificence of my big idea

See, the free hotdogs are the key…

This is a good idea. This is a great idea. This is a big idea.

Free 20oz Coke – Round Two

June 18, 2007

Oh god, I didn’t think that anything would come from my Free Coca-Cola post, but the other day I stumbled across this email….

free_coca_cola_email

So it looks like it’s not some kind of scam hatched by the fiendish minds at the Coca-Cola corporation. I can’t wait to get a box containing my free 20oz of coca cola in my mailbox….there had better be a full bottle of coke…none of that coupon shit. If it’s a coupon, I’ll be pissed.

Aside from possible pissicity, a free coke, wow…God Bless America.

“Free McDonalds Food” Yeah, if you don’t mind stealing

June 5, 2007

Now, I have nothing against stealing from corporations or the elderly…but stealing some guy’s big mac? I mean for crying out loud, the food might have been for the guy’s kids…now the guy is gonna get stressed out and beat his wife, just because you’re a dick. Don’t even get me started on the guy being foreign. I take a lot of crap for being an American, but at least I’ve never stolen a big mac.

Watch the video to see what I’m talking about.

Screw with wifi stealing neighbors

June 5, 2007

Neighbors stealing your wireless connection? Why not have a little fun with them?

Why not redirect all of their traffic to tubgirl? Why not turn all of the images they will view upside down? With a little bit of work, you can make anyone leeching your wifi connection regret it.

Check out the HowTo at…
http://www.ex-parrot.com/~pete/upside-down-ternet.html

Free Coca-Cola

June 4, 2007

Okay, all you need to do is head over to mycokerewards, sign up for an account, then enter the code 100084226454945. Yeah yeah, I know, I’m wary of free-stuff-via-internet too, but come on…it’s a free Coca-Cola for crying out loud.

I just tried this a few minutes ago and everything seems kosher…I guess we’ll see how it goes.

Q. What’s more American than getting a free Coca-Cola?

A. Getting charged for it.

Found this at hackerzen.com 

PickyDomains vs Me, round 1

May 23, 2007

So, I’ve just checked in with PickyDomains and it’s only been a day, but the geek in me cried out for some Excel spreadsheet goodness…

Of all the potential domain names I submitted a whopping 62% were “disliked by moderator”. That leaves me with 38% that got published, of that number 20% were disliked by the potential buyer. I haven’t had any bites yet, so that only leaves about 30% of my total submissions still in the running to make me some moolah.

Given that it took me about 10 minutes to submit quite a few domain names, if any of them do get sold I’ll consider it a win-win situation.